so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
