Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
