before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
