sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Randomize
