I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
