i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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