I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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