so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
