But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize