went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
