new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
