Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize