I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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