i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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