bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize