I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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