I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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