Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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