pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude. I can hear the air.
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