i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
