We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
