Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
