Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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