She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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