FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
