I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
