it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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