Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
