What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
