her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
