Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
