I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
