When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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