No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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