And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
