There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
