ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
