and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
