did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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