we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
