dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
