I'm really into asian looking animals
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just pee around me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize