She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he thought i was a dude.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
