pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
