I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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