You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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