my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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