We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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