Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
