I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
