She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
