new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
