You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
