I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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