Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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