Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
