But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
