Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
