The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
